Malka Esther and Larry Lennhoff were kind enough to invite us to join them last Shabbat. (We've enjoyed their hospitality on
previous occasions.) Here are some of the highlights:
- An advantage to observing a traditional Jewish practice in public
This is
the second time since I started blogging that my husband and I, clearly looking for a taxi where there was none in sight, have gotten a free ride from an unknown Jewish driver simply because my husband was wearing a kippah/yarmulke/skullcap. In this particular instance, I think that the kind gentleman in the tweed hat was also concerned that waiting for a taxi would result in us violating hilchot Shabbat/the laws of Sabbath by riding in a vehicle thereon. I give our driver (Ira?) credit not only for his chesed/kindness, but also for his thorough knowledge of the area--he managed to get us from the Edison train station to the Lennhoff's house in a neighboring town without once taking a major road, leaving both of us wondering whether we'd ever get there until we actually did. Rav todot (many thanks), not to mention kol hakavod (our respects)--he earned a tip of the baseball hat that I was wearing at the time. And speaking of hats . . .
- A disadvantage to observing a traditional Jewish practice in public
Maybe I was
too busy dancing the first time I wore my
white dress hat [link corrected] to notice, but the turned-down brim turns that hat into a wearable
mechitzah, of sorts, partially obstructing my ability to see the women around me in the ezrat nashim/women's section. Fortunately, the brim is flexible. I'll have to remember to push it up.
And I'm sorry to say that, when I experimented with wearing
the pink hat that I bought for Jewish concerts to Shabbat/Sabbath dinner, the experiment lasted only about 10 minutes because I had to switch to my new pink kipppah--that hat turns out to be tight enough to give me a headache. I've already offered it to a friend.
To be continued when time and circumstances permit. Hmm, I really do have to ask my husband to photograph me in the
new pink kippah that I bought at Limmud.
Update, after work- Minchah and Kabbalat Shabbat-Maariv services at Ahavas Achim (a Modern Orthodox Ashkenazi synagogue)
I'm delighted to report that the renovation of the Bet Midrash (Study Hall/Daily Chapel), not yet complete the last time we were there, has greatly expanded the room and made for a much more comfortable davvening experience. Prior to the renovation, even the men's section was cramped, and the women's section was downright claustrophobia-inducing. Now the men's section is quite comfy, and the women's section is much larger than before. The mechitzah is a six-feet-high see-through lace curtain, which is not bad, as mechitzot go.
There was some question, however, about whether the women's section was relatively quiet because of concern for kol isha (the prohibition, observed to varying degrees in different Orthodox communities, against men hearing women sing) or because there were roughly half as many women present as men. After we got home, I asked my husband how loudly the men had been singing. He replied that most of them had been singing at a "normal" volume, but a few, especially the ones up front, right behind the baal tefillah/prayer leader, had really been belting it out. So I think it was a combination: There were certainly fewer women, but I don't remember hearing anyone on my side of the mechitzah really belting it out.
The Lennhoff's three overnight guests--my husband and I and another Conservative guest--all went to HPCT-CAE on Shabbat morning. I figured that it would be more pleasant for me to davven/pray in the morning at a Conservative shul/synagogue, where being a tallit-wearing female was less likely to raise any eyebrows, than to davven through the Amidah prayer in the Lennhoff's living room while wearing a tallit and then remove it and go to shul, and we also wanted to keep R. company. (R., feel free to "out" yourself in the comments, if you'd like.)
The three of us arrived at a reasonably early hour, just in time for Hodu LaShem ki tov, ki l'olam chasdo. My husband later commented that, aside from the family of the Bar Mitzvah boy, we were among the few folks present in the pews at that hour. On the plus side, the baalat koreh/leiner/Torah reader did an excellent job of chanting the (complete) parsha/weekly biblical reading from the scroll despite the fact that she was clearly suffering from a cold. The Bar Mitzvah boy also did an excellent job in chanting both his Torah portion (maftir) and the long haftarah (a reading from the Prophets), and gave a rather daring d'var Torah (Bible discussion) asking why the penalty for violating the Shabbat/Sabbath was death. I was suitably impressed, not only by his discussion but by the fact that the powers that be had let him discuss something so controversial.
- Minchah and Maariv at Ahavas Achim
The disadvantage of davvening Minchah and Maariv in the main sanctuary was that the dearth of women was hard to miss in such a large room--I don't think there were ever more than six of us in the ezrat nashim. As for me not being able to keep up with the baal tefillah, that's about normal. We women did get practically first dibs on the v'samim/spice box, though--they handed it to a few guys, then passed it over the glass-topped mechitzah.
Not for nothin' I wore my most comfortable skirt--I knew that Malka Esther would keep all of her guests well fed. Yum! We stuffed ourselves quite nicely at both Shabbat dinner and Shabbat lunch, gave the rabbinical-student guest a run for his "money" with questions and comments, talked Torah in general and parsed the parsha in particular, checked out some translations just to see how they compared, sang a zemer (Sabbath song) or two, and had a wonderful time.
We had a "sighting" in Penn Station that reminds me of Larry's joke (see the comments) about an outfit being too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church. A young lady passed us in a gold lame micro-mini-skirt "up to there" and a pair of four-inch stiletto-heeled shoes. Once she was beyond the range at which she could have heard me, I commented to my husband that, years ago, I would have "pegged" her as a prostitute immediately, but now, I couldn't be sure, and I thought it was sad that some otherwise-respectable folks now think it's perfectly acceptable to dress (or, from the guy's perspective, to be dressed) in such a flagrantly immodest manner.
I paid for my remarks, I suppose, by nearly freezing my feet off on the walk home from the subway--we could have waited for a bus, but decided that we'd freeze less if we kept moving. Who knew that the temperature was going to drop from Friday's 60 degrees Fahrenheit to 23 degrees with a stiff wind by the time we got home? But all's well.
I've already started reading that book on women's halachic writings that the Lennhoffs lent me so that I can return it on our next visit. We're looking forward to it!